My husband, Bill and I had been eagerly awaiting the arrival of our precious twins, but we had no idea that soon our health, sanity, strength, and most of all, our faith in God was about to be tested to the extreme.
On July 20th, at my regular baby check up, Dr. Jones noticed some things on the ultrasounds of our dear little ones. He was having difficulty measuring the smaller of the two babies, and the numbers he was getting just didn't add up. He was concerned, and so he sent me to a specialist at the University of MO, in Columbia to have it checked out. I saw Dr. Winn on July 26th. He agreed that the measurements were not adding up, and that there were some developmental concerns. Both babies were small, even for twins at their gestational age. One baby was so small that you could not tell the sex of the baby. "Little One" as we came to call it, also had some delayed development of the brain and one of the femurs were bowed and shorter than it should be. We were not really sure what all this meant, but Dr. Winn said that we would have to keep a close eye on the babies from now on.
On Aug. 1st, I woke up in the middle of the night with severe pain in my neck and shoulders. I was so tense that I could not get the muscles to relax no matter what I did. This, in turn, raised my blood pressure. It was 145/109 at 4 am. I called the ER at Columbia Regional, where the MU Birthing Center is located, and they sent me to one person, who sent me to another, who sent me to another, etc. to ask about whether or not I should come in to be checked out. Eventually they told me I just needed to relax and everything would be okay. My husband did not like the idea of not going to get checked out right then, but I promised him I would call Dr. Winn's office first thing in the morning and see what they said. He agreed, gave me a neck massage to help the muscles aches go away and we went back to bed. I called Dr. Winn's office at 8 A.M., and they insisted that I get in to the Birthing Center right away. My sister came and took me in. They monitored the babies, drew some blood work from me, and tested my urine. I was told that I would probably be sent home. Because it was lunch time, I sent my sister to get her kids and my mom, who was watching her kids while she was with me, to get something to eat. When she came back, they had decided to keep me for the night to monitor the babies, and to watch for protein in my urine since my liver enzymes were slightly elevated. I had a really rough night that night. My legs became so restless that they would spasm and knock the monitors off the babies. Then the nurses would have to come in, let me up to go to the bathroom, and find the babies again. This went on all night!
The next morning, Aug. 2nd, I was sent for another ultrasound with Dr. Winn's partner, Dr. Floyd. There was something in the monitoring that concerned them so they needed to do an ultrasound to check things out. We discovered that there was not enough fluid around the little one. That's when we were hit with the big news: there were some major issues with the babies. Both babies, Eddie and Little One, were very small for their gestational age, and Little One had some major developmental issues. Its femur and tibias appeared to be shorter than they should, one of the femurs was bowed, not all of the brain had fully developed, and its sex was unknown. All of these things led them to believe that there were some chromosome issues. We were told to expect that Little One would not make it, and Eddie's chances were slim as well. I had carried these babies for 30 weeks, and was being told that more than likely Little One would die, and Eddie might not make it either. I would be hospitalized until the babies came, and they were going to come a lot sooner than we ever dreamed. I was going to be monitored twice a day and have an ultrasound every weekday to see if that particular day would be the day the babies would come. Dr. Floyd had told us that ultrasounds are just pictures and we wouldn't know anything for sure until the babies were here, but to be preparing ourselves for the worst. Our sadness was undescribable. Bill and I began to try to prepare ourselves for the worst: that we might lose both of our babies. However, we also began to pray relentlessly God would preform a miracle in the lives of our babies. We prayed nonstop. I often would find that I had fallen asleep while praying and when I woke up, I started praying all over again. I told God that I knew what the doctors had said, and if that was his will, then I knew he had a purpose for it. I also reminded him of his promises to give us a future and a hope, and I begged for the lives of my babies.
On Aug 3rd, Dr. Floyd said that there was a little more fluid around Little One and that I would not be delivering that day, and that I would be good for the weekend as long as nothing showed up on the monitors. Bill and I both thanked God for one more day for our babies. And the prayers continued.
On Aug 5th, I again woke in the middle of the night with neck and shoulder tension. This time it was so bad that I was throwing up from the pressure it was putting in my head. I was given medicine to relax the muscles and for the neasua. Again, I kept on praying. I had not had much sleep in the last couple of nights because of all the thoughts swimming around in my head. I continued to pray. Bill continued to pray. My family continued to pray. We had people all over the world praying for us. Bill even got an email from someone in Vietnam who heard from a friend who heard from a friend, who heard from a friend about our babies. They told us that they were praying and that God was going to work a miracle. We were still preparing ourselves for the worst, but kept praying for the miracle that God had promised us. Sometime that night, I finally cracked. I told God I didn't understand why he would let me carry these babies for so long just to take them away from me. I was sad, distraught, tired, and just had no strength left. I cried out to God. I told him it wasn't fair for him to take my babies away from me before I ever got to actually have them. That's when he gently reminded me that they weren't really my babies at all. They were his, and he was just loning them to me. It was the hardest thing I ever did, to give God my babies when I hadn't even gotten them myself. God promised me that night that he had a plan, and I just needed to trust him. So I did.
On Aug 6th, still sick from the muscle tension and stress that had happened up until this point, I finally slept. They took new liver enzyme tests and did another urine test.
On Aug 7th, we were told the babies would come that day. I had not eaten yet because of the neasea that remained, and they sent me to ultrasound early because the monitors looked fishy. They discovered that the fluid was back down on Little One and both babies were having a little backflow into their umbilical cords and I was starting to go severe preeclamptic. The ultrasound tech prayed with Bill and I before we left. I called my parents who were at the District Nazarene Missions Convention and told them what was going on. Bill and I began to pray some more. The babies came at 11:56 am. Eddie was first weighing 2 pounds 6 ounces and was about 14 inches long. Little One, or Elayna, was born weighing 1 pound 10 ounces and about 12 3/4 inches long. They could tell her sex right away. She was intebated without any problems, and there were no physical signs of any deformations. Eddie cried right away, buy Laynie, as we have nicknamed her, was quiet. Bill and I were not sure she made it until our nurse came back to get Bill and told me that she had. She told me that they were beautiful, tiny, but beautiful. I began thanking God even while they were still putting me back together. It was so hard not being able to see what was going on. I went back to recoup while Bill was able to be with the babies. I found out later, that my parents and my sister even got to see the babies before I did. I was just thanking God the whole time that they had made it. It was a miracle. They rolled my bed into the NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) so I could see my little babies. Little is the only way I know to describe them. They were tiny. Layne was the size of a beanie baby when she was all curled up. They had wires on them and breathing tubes, and Layne was on a respirator, but praise God, they were even able to take her off that by the end of the night.
The following days were crazy, but both babies were doing well for awhile. Eddie went home after a month in the NICU. Laynie went home after 3 months. She seemed to be doing well, however, she really struggled with eating. She had difficulty eating and breathing at the same time. She was home about a month, before we couldn't get her to eat anymore and she started losing weight. She was put on oxygen and given a feeding tube. She went home around Thanksgiving. She was home until Christmas, when we noticed that she was turning blue. We took her to the ER on December 30th. She was life flighted to St. Louis Children's Hospital, on January 3rd, 2008. We discovered that she needed both a heart and lung transplants. Because of how tiny she was, they would have to come from a newborn baby that died of natural causes with both a healthy heart and lungs. Needless to say, that doesn't happen very often. She had already contracted several infections in the hospital, and we were told that she would probably contract more until one of them killed her. We decided to send her home to Jesus and on January 15th, 2008 we let our sweet baby girl go. It was the hardest thing we've ever done, but she is finally well. She doesn't need oxygen any more. She doesn't need a feeding tube. There will be no more hospital stays, nurses, doctors, getting stuck with needles, needing IVs, getting shots, getting blood drawn, etc. There will be no more pain.
Even though we miss her so very much, we know that she has the best baby sitter in the world. She is no longer sick. She is happy. She is safe. She is well. And most importantly, we will see her again some day. Until then, we continue to ask God to watch over our sweet baby and give her hugs and kisses for us.
Eddie continues to do well. He is growing fast and is very healthy.
Check out the "Update" tab for current info on our sweet Eddie boy.